you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
