He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
