Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
