help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
