Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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