Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
