can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
