Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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