ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
