You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
