I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
