Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize