she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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