Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
