p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
