Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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