At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
