About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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