and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
