Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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