when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
