And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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