You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
