Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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