i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
