Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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