evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Non-Jews are for practice
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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