its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
