i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
