you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
