I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
