so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
