Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
