ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
