I want to have your abortion
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
