Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh god it's open bar.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
