i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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