Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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