is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Be still, my beating vagina.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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