I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I want a musical about memes.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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