if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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