are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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