All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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