How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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