So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
