yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
