yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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