Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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