im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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