Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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